Children are very clever. They can exploit the slightest weakness in any figure of authority. Even the little ones become very adept at knowing how far they can go. They usually know which parent will retreat from his/her word. And thus more discipline is needed.
Communication is key
Parents must constantly communicate. They must show a united approach towards discipline and the consequences of ill discipline. Adults who have differences of opinion, should be sorted out their approaches in private. And not in front of the child.
On the sports field we will accept the rulings of the umpire or referee. As long as they are fair and the interpretation of the rules are constant. In the same way the parents should show a constant, fair and united front as regards discipline.
We love our children
We like to believe that they are perfect. Even loving parents can spot unacceptable behaviour. And they should never be blind to their children’s misbehaviour or irritating behaviour.
Once again these clever little imps know exactly where the parent will suffer the most embarrassment. They choose the supermarket, a friend’s home, church. Or any place where they hope the parent will retreat from his/her disciplinary routines to spring a tantrum to get their own way.
The parent’s culture, nationality, local laws, personal norms and values dictate corrective measures. But must at all times be constant.
Broken homes
Unfortunately the trickiest situation in the regard to discipline occurs in broken homes. Each parent wants to be the ‘loved one’ and does not want to become known as the disciplinarian. But a united approach it vitally important to give the child stability.
Communication is essential.
The consequential corrective measures should be age appropriate. Remove younger children from the area. And with older children, the parents can deprive them of a treat. Don’t lavish attention on unacceptable behaviour. Continuous shouting and cursing eventually becomes meaningless.
Be consistent
When an outcome is promised, carry it out if the unacceptable behaviour has not stopped. If you are not consistent, your word will be ignored next time.
Show the little one that good behaviour is noticed. And, where appropriate, reward it. If at all possible do not lavish attention on poor behaviour.
Do not retreat! And always strive to ease the acceptance of your little one into the community where he/she is destined to spend his/her life. We love them and want to be proud of them and their behaviour.
10th October 2012
Teresa Denton (1941 – 2014)
Teresa saw many families come through her baby clinics in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg in South Africa. She shared her knowledge and experience in-person and in writing.
