In the modern household a time comes that parents must go back to work after the birth of a baby. Gone are the days of our forefathers when the woman of the home stayed at home to care for and rear the children. And while the father went to work to support his family. There are families who forgo luxuries so that a parent can stay at home. But unfortunately this is fairly rare and maternity leave ends at some time and we must return to work.
A modern development has been the stay-at-home daddies. Also the growing trend for a parent to work from home has alleviated this situation. For some of us, none of the modern developments have helped. We were forced to leave the home and go out to work (especially if we are single parents).
It is difficult
It is very difficult for a doting daddy or mommy to hand the baby over to a stranger. In my case I even had to hand over my toddler to stranger who spoke a language my baby could not understand.
In most instances it is more upsetting for the parent and than little one who adapts quite rapidly.
Nursery or crèche
If your baby is going to a crèche or nursery school your first requirement is to be completely comfortable with the new environment. Choose one that conforms to your standards. Establish a measure of trust between yourself and the person who is going to be in charge of your precious bundle.
I used to suggest that the parent arrives at the gate without an appointment. This may not be popular with the establishment, but it will give you a true picture of the area where you are planning to leave your baby. (Especially if they haven’t prepared the place for your inspection).
An adventure
Don’t show your emotional turmoil to the little one. Refer to it as an adventure. Stress only positive aspects e.g. new friends, games and lots of new toys etc.
When you leave your baby make sure that you leave accurate instructions pertaining to the care of your little one.
Guilt
Above all, try to overcome your guilt about leaving your baby. Millions of parents have done this before you. And millions more will be doing the same thing in the future.
Children don’t seem to suffer any permanent emotional damage and they settle down quite easily.
There are authorities who believe that the baby has the least ‘separation anxiety’ if this event happens before they are nine months old. More explanations and reassurances are required for the older child.
Dry up those tears dear parent, sometime you will have to let go!
2nd October 2012
Teresa Denton (1941 – 2014)
Teresa was a ‘sounding board’ for all the new parents who came to her clinic and her insights were always so valuable. Check out her books on Amazon.
