Everyone loves to give baby advice.
A shower of advice comes from almost every angle. Well-meaning friends, colleagues, family, and complete strangers love to impart their knowledge. Ask your hairdresser, the butcher, the person who sits next to you in the bus, and see how keen they are to share their vast experience with you.
Moms & mom-in-laws are valuable support sources And they are most helpful. But remember it’s been a long, long time since they practised handling an infant & memories are clouded.
In my practice I wooed the grandparents of the infant first. If I got them on my side, my job would be so much simpler. These good people have a great deal of influence on new parents.
Overwhelm
Being a first time parent is often completely overwhelming. The advice is often contradicting and strange. As a new and uncertain parent, moms and dads often feel vulnerable. This makes them ‘easy targets’ for all those who continue to shower them with solicited & unsolicited knowledge.
A new parent wants to succeed
A new parent wants to be ‘seen’ to be coping. And to prove to the world, but especially to themselves, that they are worthy parents of this little stranger.
REMEMBER YOU ARE THE PARENT!
The ultimate responsibility is yours. Those ‘advisors’ will not be there 24/7 when you try out their advice. Pick someone you trust and discuss you problems and the advice you have been given. Listen to the pros and cons of the advice. And then make your own decision. Choose the advice with which you feel most comfortable and which suits your life-style. Don’t ever feel obliged to follow advice which make you feel uncomfortable.
We are not perfect. Our parenting is often done through trail & error and much experimentation. Children are tough. And, in spite of our imperfections, our children are usually none the worse for wear and survive their parents quite well.
GOOD LUCK!
Teresa Denton (1941 – 2014)
Teresa loved working with new mothers at her baby clinics in Johannesburg, South Africa, and in maternity wards. She was also an author.
Check out more of the blog posts in the ‘Welcome Little Stranger’ series
