Ah, the age-old question of what others think of us! It’s only natural that we care a little bit about what our fellow humans think of us. It’s a survival instinct that’s helped us get along in social situations for centuries. But when we start to place too much value on the opinions of others, it can really weigh us down and hold us back from living our best lives.
Now, there’s a fine line between seeking validation and seeking approval.
Validation is all about acknowledging and accepting our own feelings and experiences. And understanding that our thoughts and emotions are valid and worthy of recognition.
Seeking approval, on the other hand, is all about trying to gain acceptance or validation from others. And about looking for external validation to feel good about ourselves.
While it’s important to seek feedback and guidance from others, constantly seeking approval from others can be detrimental to our self-worth and confidence. It becomes easy to lose sight of our own values and beliefs. We may start to base our self-worth on the approval of others rather than on our own sense of self.
This can lead to a never-ending cycle of trying to please others and seeking their approval, which can be exhausting and demoralising.
So how do we break this cycle and stop the weight of other people’s opinions from holding us back?
Here are a few tips:
Recognize that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness.
Your self-worth should not be based on the approval of others.
It’s true that you are ultimately the only person who can truly control your own happiness. Focus on building a strong sense of self-worth and self-acceptance, rather than seeking external validation. It really is okay to seek support and guidance from others, but ultimately, it’s up to you to take control of your own happiness and well-being.
Set boundaries.
Be brave! Say no to requests or invitations that don’t align with your values or goals, even if it means disappointing others.
Setting boundaries is an important aspect of self-care and can help you protect your time, energy, and well-being. Boundaries can also help you establish and maintain healthy relationships, as it allows you to communicate your needs and limits clearly and effectively.
Practise self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is the process of acknowledging and accepting all parts of yourself, good and the bad, including your strengths, weaknesses, and flaws. It involves recognising that you are a unique individual with your own set of characteristics and qualities, and that it’s okay to be imperfect.
Self-acceptance is an important aspect of personal growth and well-being, as it can help you build self-confidence, reduce self-criticism, and improve your overall mental and emotional health. It can also help you cultivate more positive and healthy relationships with others, as it allows you to be more authentic and genuine.
Seek feedback but remember to take it with a grain of salt.
Feedback can be valuable, but it’s important to remember that it’s just one person’s opinion and may not necessarily reflect your own experience or perspective.
Seeking feedback from others can be a valuable way to learn and grow. It can provide insight and perspective that you might not have considered before. Feedback is just one ‘piece of the puzzle’. So, keep an open mind and use your own judgement and critical thinking skills to determine what is most relevant and useful for you.
Above all, trust your instincts.
Focus on your own goals and values.
Make decisions that align with what you want for yourself, rather than trying to please others. This can be challenging, as we often feel pressure from others to conform or follow certain expectations. However, it’s important to remember that you are the only person who truly knows what is best for you and what will bring you happiness and fulfilment.
Surround yourself with supportive people.
Seek out relationships with people who value and respect you for who you are, rather than trying to change or mould you into something you’re not. Supportive people can have a positive impact on your well-being and happiness. These types of relationships can provide a sense of belonging, connection, and support, and can help you feel appreciated and valued.
Because, being around toxic or negative people can drain your energy and cause stress and anxiety.
Remember, building and maintaining supportive relationships takes effort and commitment, but it can be a powerful source of strength and well-being.
In conclusion, we are all human. It’s natural to care about what others think of us to some extent. But when we start to place too much value on other people’s opionon, it can really weigh us down and hold us back from living our best lives. By taking responsibility for our own happiness, setting boundaries, practising self-acceptance, accepting feedback, and focusing on our own values and goals, we can break the cycle and find freedom from the weight of other people’s opinions.
