The traditional Nuer people of South Sudan and western Ethiopia place cattle at the heart of their communities. And the Nuer wedding happens in stages. It starts with a gift of cattle from the groom to the bride’s clan. And is ends when the bride produces her third child, ensuring there is a male to continue the family line.
Cattle
Nuer or Naath is roughly translated to ‘original’ people or ‘human beings’. They make their home in the savannah regions of South Sudan and western Ethiopia. Cattle ownership plays a central role socially and politically in their pastoral lifestyles. Cattle indicates wealth and prestige. And thus in the traditional wedding ceremony, cattle play a central role too.
When a man is ready for a wife, he must choose from another clan and his gift of 20-40 cattle to his future bride’s clan is seen as a gift to her whole community.
The Groom
The wedding ceremony begins with the arrival of the groom. He is followed by a group of singing ladies who carry candles. He is welcomed by the bride’s mother who presents him with flowers and a secret message of encouragement.
The Bride Arrives
When the bride arrives, the couple is seated outside their future home under a veil in the shade of an umbrella, protecting them from the searing African heat. The umbrella is also used as a symbol of respect, appreciation and the coming together of two people.
The couple then kisses the knees of their future parents-in-law to ask for their blessing and show continued dedication and support. This is accompanied by a song by a specially selected man and woman as a message of eternal paternal love from the parents to their children.
Egg Breaking
For the egg breaking ceremony the couple stands at the entrance of their new home. The groom stands just outside the door and the bride in the doorway, facing each other. The ceremony involves the burning of seven broomsticks. This shows that the couple is ridding themselves of bad habits. And these can weaken their marriage. The groom is appointed head of the house as the egg is broken. The bride washes her groom’s feet with water from a clay pot to show obedience. She then breaks the pot and enters the house. Here she enjoys her last meal from her parents of spicy chicken and turmeric rice.
The Nuer Wedding Couple
After a ceremony of singing, the groom requests entry into the home. The couple is given a large barbecued chicken to tear apart to show how they will work together as a family. The person, bride or groom, who gets the largest piece of chicken during this part of the ceremony will be the ‘bread-winner’. And this person will bring prosperity to the family.
In the final part of the ceremony the couple is showered with yellow rice. Rice is a sign of prosperity. And yellow represents everlasting love. They are also showered with money. This is to be shared with those less fortunate. And candy will ensure the marriage remains sweet.
Starting a Family
It is important to start a family right away as the marriage is only confirmed when the wife bears the third child. And it is vital to have at least six children to ensure a male is born to continue the family line. It is the birth of the third child that calls for great celebration as this is when the wife is fully accepted into the husband’s clan.
Many Wives
A man may also have many wives. For convenience they should all live within the region of his clan, but this is not always the case.
If the wife only produces one child, the husband has the right to a divorce here. And he can claim the cattle or the first child as part of the divorce ‘settlement’. This can make divorce complicated and of course very difficult.
Lineage
If the husband dies it is his family’s responsibility to provide a brother to ‘step into his shoes’. And any future children in this new relationship will always be considered the children of the previous husband.
The male lineage is so important to the Nuer people that if a man dies unmarried his family arranges a ‘ghost marriage’. A chosen member of the clan marries in the name of the deceased man and has children for him. This will ensure a high chance of producing a male heir. And this is an opportunity to bring more cattle into the community, increasing wealth, status and happiness.
Ultimately the Nuer wedding ceremony is the start of a chain of events that will ensure the survival of the family and the clan. And this is why marriage, as in so many other cultures, is considered to be such a very important aspect of life in the Nuer community.
